"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water.""Come," he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down.
Matthew 14:28-32
I continue to write out our path as it is revealed to us inch by inch. At times it seems so slow, I can be so desperate for some kind of change... but then when it becomes hectic all of the sudden I am ready for the lull. Somehow, I don't think this roller coaster of a journey is goin to come to an end any time soon!
This past week has been one of tempers, frustrations, hard work, tired achy muscles, massive pain, lack of sleep and just plain weariness as we move from one house to another. At this time, we don't know how long our sojourn will be at this one place. All I can say is that I am already anxious for the next move, but at the same time praying that it will be a move to where we will set to start our work in ministering to others rather then being in the need of ministering ourselves.
Today has been a difficult day for me. My scripture tonight is a very accurate representation of how this day has gone. Sometimes the fear just sneaks up and washes over you as you look at a certain situation, and you see no earthly way that what needs to happen will come to pass.
With my husband's new job, we were looking at what his checks will look like with everything taken out. It is discouraging to see that the amount of income is actually less, in many cases, then the cost of a two bedroom apartment in the bad part of town. Much less car upkeep, gas to get to work, or other functions. Once again, we are facing a "hopeless" situation. We have taken the step out of the boat... and have figuratively been walking on the walking on the water, sometimes slipping to our knees or even enough for our Lord's hand to slip beneath the surface to draw us back to a standing position.Today was one of those days where HIS hands lifted me up from the depths as I sought him throughout the day.
The winds are whipping around us, the waves are in turmoil. The murmuring of those who love us and are concerned for us, and the voices that speak loudest of all... you can't make it like this... God doesn't work that way anymore... you are a failure if you don't have your own place and a job that pays all the bills and live comfortably... you can't raise kids like this...that is not how the world works.
But then....
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"
I'm sorry Lord, I didn't mean to doubt....
Then
Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about
your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear.
Life
is more than food, and the body more than clothes.
Consider
the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God
feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!
Who
of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
Since
you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?
"Consider
how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even
Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.
If
that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and
tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of
little faith!
And
do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it.
For
the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you
need them.
But
seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.
(Luke 12: 22-31)
I'm sorry Father, forgive my doubt and worry!
You see, it is difficult, like Peter, to keep our eyes upon the face of our Savior when every thing seems at odds against us. Most of the time we won't feel or see the situation change instantly... but if we stop, become silent, and allow ourselves to trust and wait upon him... Oh the things HE can do when we get out of HIS way!
No, our situation may look bleak. But today the Lord once again reached out and caught this sinking forgiven sinner from the depths and restored her trust and faith in HIM. I will wait for HIS perfect will to be made known... all the while trying very hard not to rush HIS masterpiece. I am content in that, knowing that if I try to take things into my fumbling fingers, I will just delay what HE has in store for us!
I hope that you too will find peace in HIS words of promise. I can very confidently say, that NO MATTER WHAT your circumstance may be, He is there. Not to immediately snap his fingers and take away the hurt and fears... but to hold you, to let you learn and grow and give you the peace and courage to get through what ever it is that you face! Through HIM you can do it!
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